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The pursuit of musical excellence is a journey that many musicians embark upon with a fervent desire to achieve perfection. We strive for flawless performances, impeccable technique, and unwavering precision. As an advanced amateur pianist, these are goals to which I too aspire.

But the constant pursuit for perfection and an ongoing desire for perfectionism in one’s music making can be a double-edged sword for musicians. The relentless pursuit of flawlessness can lead to a never-ending, often negative cycle of self-criticism and anxiety. Musicians who set impossibly high standards for themselves may find it difficult to ever feel satisfied with their performances, leading to a constant state of stress and self-doubt. Some may ask themselves, “will I ever be good enough?”

The pursuit of musical mastery is admirable, and indeed the striving for mastery is a major driver of motivation and commitment. However, it is also essential to recognise the significance of know when and accepting that you are “good enough” as a musician. Perfection can be an unattainable goal; acknowledging you are “good enough” is not only perfectly acceptable but can also be liberating and personally fulfilling. It can help musicians to break free from the paralysing grip of perfectionism, allowing them to enjoy the process of making music and to develop as artists and individuals.

My own personal acceptance that I am “good enough” came after I had spent nearly ten years studying for professional performance diplomas, having returned to the piano seriously after a gap of nearly 25 years. Having secured two diplomas with distinction in relatively quick succession, my ego led me to believe that the final, Fellowship diploma was well within my grasp. Unfortuntely, I failed this diploma; the deep disappointment I felt on receiving the news gave me an opportunity to reflect on what I really wanted from my music. I knew I would never be a professional musician, despite playing at an advanced level and receiving external validation from teachers, mentors, peers and audiences, and I knew I was a good pianist. But taking lessons, and attending courses and piano meetup events, where there was a tendency to constantly compare oneself to others of a similar ability, made me question my own abilities in a way which made practicing and music making feel like a chore rather than a pleasure. (And ultimately, as a amateur musician, pleasure should be at the foundation of one’s musical pursuits.)

“You don’t need to go on courses to know you’re good” my ultra-sensible, pragmatic and honest husband told me one day. And he was right. So I learnt to trust my own musical instincts, to recognise the value of what I had to say and to measure it against the music rather than other people – to, as Schumann said, “…converse more with scores than with virtuosi” – to recognise my own autonomy as a musician, and accept that I am “good enough”.

The result has been liberating. I no longer care what other people are playing, at what level they play at, or what repertoire they are working on. I play the music I want to play, and I’ve stopped beating myself up if I don’t practice every day (another joy of being an amateur is not feeling beholden to one’s instrument and muse every single day).

So why should you, as a musician, accept that you are “good enough?”. Here are some thoughts on the subject:

Embracing Individuality

Every musician possesses a unique set of skills, experiences, and perspectives. Embracing the idea that you are “good enough” means recognising and celebrating your individuality as an artist. It allows you to focus on your strengths, develop your style, and create a distinctive musical identity. While aspiring to reach new heights and improve is essential, acknowledging your current level of skill and artistry is a valuable step toward authentic self-expression.

Redefining Success

Success in music should not solely be measured by technical perfection or the approval of critics, peers, teachers or audiences. By accepting that you are “good enough,” you redefine what success means to you personally. It can encompass the joy of playing, collaboration with colleagues, the connection with your audience, and the sense of accomplishment from personal growth. This shift in perspective encourages a more holistic and fulfilling musical journey.

Reducing Performance Anxiety

The fear of making mistakes and the pressure to be flawless on stage are very common triggers for performance anxiety in musicians. Accepting that you are “good enough” can significantly alleviate this anxiety. When you recognize that making mistakes is a natural part of the learning process and that it does not diminish your worth as a musician, you can perform with greater confidence, freedom and enjoyment.

Sustainable Motivation

Constantly striving for perfection can lead to burnout. On the other hand, acknowledging that you are “good enough” can provide you with a sustainable source of motivation. The satisfaction derived from setting achievable goals, making incremental but noticeable progress, and celebrating small victories can keep you inspired and committed to your musical journey over the long term.

In conclusion, accepting that you are “good enough” is not a sign of complacency nor mediocrity. It is a testament to self-compassion, personal growth, and a healthier perspective on the art of making music. Embracing your current level of skill and artistry while still aspiring to improve can lead to a more fulfilling, enjoyable, and sustainable musical journey.

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autonomy: the ability to make your own decisions without being controlled by anyone else – Cambridge Dictionary definition

The best teachers want to be made redundant – that is, their aim is to help their students become confident, independent musicians. In other words, they want to encourage autonomy in their students.

As a teacher, perhaps the simplest way to encourage autonomy in one’s students is to give them a choice in the music they play and learn. As a child in the early 1970s, I had my first piano lessons with an elderly and very traditional teacher who decided which pieces I would play and selected all my grade exam repertoire. I would have to practice pieces until I could play them perfectly and then I would move on to new pieces. I can still recall the excruciating boredom of some of those piano lessons and intervening practicing, when the same piece of music, which I disliked, confronted me on the music stand day after day. Looking back, I’m amazed that I stuck with the piano, but when I reached around Grade 5 standard, I began to realise that I had enough ability to strike out on my own and choose which music I really wanted to play. It was around this time that my mum bought me a score of Schubert’s Impromptus and Moments Musicaux and I sight-read these pieces voraciously. (I loved them, without really understanding much about them at the time, and that affection for these pieces remains with me today.) This was also a great learning tool, although I may not have realised it at the time: finding my own way through the intricacies of Schubert’s writing improved my sight-reading, problem-solving abilities, confidence and musicality. When I took this music to my new piano teacher, she never said “Oh you shouldn’t be playing this, it’s far too advanced for you“, but helped me around some of the trickier corners, and encouraged me to explore more repertoire on my own. This was the start of my personal musical autonomy.

It seems obvious to say, but most students will be more motivated and progress better if they actually enjoy the music they are learning and playing. So don’t impose repertoire on them, in the mistaken notion that it will be “good for them”, but involve them in the selection of the repertoire by playing pieces to them. Even very young or beginner students will know what kind of music appeals to them – it may be something as simple as an attractive melody or rhythm. And if a student comes to a lesson with a piece they have selected and worked on without teacherly input, celebrate this as an important stage in their growing independence and musical autonomy.

Actively involving students in the direction and progress of their learning, seeking their opinions on the learning process, asking them what their musical goals are or how they plan to approach their practicing, all foster confidence and autonomy. For the teacher it needn’t require a huge change of approach; I found that by simply changing some of the vocabulary I was using in my teaching made the student feel far more involved in what they were doing – it was their music after all, not mine! For example, instead of saying “you should practice this passage like this“, I would ask “how do you think you might practice this passage?” or “what do you think would be helpful here?” – a simple shift from a didactic to a more collaborative approach.

Encouraging students to think about what they can do for themselves, based on their accrued technical and artistic skills, musical knowledge and experience, coupled with specific and applicable feedback and support from their teacher, helps foster a greater sense of investment in their own musical pursuits, which, hopefully, leads to increased motivation. Showing students what they need to improve and how to improve it, and helping them understand the reasons for doing what they are doing, can give them better insight, involvement and control over their own learning and leads to a deeper form of motivation than simply practicing for the next grade exam because you feel you should be practicing.

In addition, encouraging regular self-critique during lessons and in practicing, and equipping students with the tools to exercise self-critique – mindful practice, self-recording, reflection and adjustments – provides them with a framework for success when similar challenges come up later and encourages them to become intrinsically motivated. With these autonomous skills in place, students have the confidence and ability to become independent, self-fulfilled learners; above all, they enjoy their music.

The Pianist’s Autonomy – Part 1: Going It Alone

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autonomy: the ability to make your own decisions without being controlled by anyone else – Cambridge Dictionary definition

Olympic gold medallist, the cyclist Anna Kiesenhofer is entirely self-coached. She manages everything herself, from her training regime to nutrition, tactics to equipment. Rejecting the norms of professional cycling, she doesn’t always do things the way the coaches say she should. “Don’t trust authority too much” she replies, when asked in interviews what advice she would give to aspiring cyclists. For me, she represents someone who has attained autonomy and proved that it can bring achievement and success.

Her fiercely self-reliant, “go it alone” approach appeals to me because five years ago, after failing to score a hat trick in my performance diplomas (I failed to achieve the final, Fellowship diploma), I decided to cease having regular piano lessons and to instead “self-coach” myself. 

Failing to secure that final diploma, after I had recovered from the initial disappointment, made me appreciate that I had in fact achieved something far more significant than additional credentials and letters after my name – and something that is imperative for the musician, whether professional or amateur: autonomy.

In the early and intermediate stages of our learning, and even later on, it may be necessary to have a coach encouraging us to play more accurately, with more expression, greater freedom, artistry and confidence, but ultimately it is important that we recognise the value of what we have to say and to measure this against the score, rather than seek external critique or endorsement or mark our progress against that of others.

As you grow older, converse more with scores than with virtuosi – Robert Schumann

Of course, it takes a degree of courage and a leap of faith to step away from a teacher, especially one with whom you have enjoyed a longstanding, trusted and productive relationship. We may become reliant (sometimes overly reliant) on a teacher’s support, advice and encouragement, to the point where it can become very difficult to part company. But good teachers know that there will come a time when a student needs to move on, and the best teachers aim to make themselves redundant by equipping their students with the necessary tools to be confident, independent learners, able to make their own decisions about their learning and progress, interpretation and artistry. (Bad teachers, on the other hand, are possessive of their students, can be autocratic and dogmatic in their approach (“it’s my way or the high way“) and are less concerned with helping their students succeed than with bolstering their own egos.)

I am fortunate in having received many hours of expert tuition, coaching and mentoring from a number of leading pianist-teachers, who helped me lay the foundations of efficient, intelligent practice habits, secure technique, musicianship and artistry. Their support was invaluable, and without it, I doubt I would have had the confidence to pursue my own path to autonomy.

From observing other teachers and students, in masterclasses and on courses, conversations with pianist-teachers, concert pianists and other musicians, my own reading and research, and indeed a growing scepticism about mainstream methods and didacticism in music teaching, led me to form my own ideas about how I wanted to approach my music making and my ongoing musical development.

I’m fascinated with what happens to the creative output when you isolate yourself from the approval and disapproval of the people around you. – Glenn Gould

There is no doubt that the necessary confidence to pursue this path was imbued in me, in part, by the support of highly-skilled master teachers and mentors, and my achieving Distinctions in two performance diplomas, taken in my late 40s, having returned to the piano seriously after an absence of nearly 25 years. For me, the diplomas were less about external credentialisation, and more about improving my pianistic techniques, along with personal development and self-fulfillment – the best reasons, as I see it, for pursuing qualifications such as these. 

Autonomy can be hard won – it took me eight years and two diplomas to step back from regular piano lessons and attending piano courses, quite a few conversations with myself and self-reflection – but one can gradually work towards greater independence, self-determination and self-reliance, for example, by reducing the frequency one’s piano lessons and becoming less dependent on the guidance and feedback from a teacher, and instead relying on one’s own musical knowledge.

The ability to make one’s own decisions about one’s music making and progress – important aspects of autonomy – comes from growing confidence, including the confidence to accept or reject advice, retaining what one will find most helpful and discarding the rest. Be wary of a teacher or mentor who claims to have all the answers and exercise a degree of healthy scepticism when taking advice from others, even the most highly respected teachers. Be open to suggestions, but also questioning and curious.

Alongside this, the autonomous musician will create their own validation methods and accountable tools – technical, interpretative, psychological and artistic – and use such methods and tools in every day practicing and performance. These may include:

  • Trial and error, exploration and experimentation, reflection and adjustment
  • Really close attention to all the details of the score
  • A willingness to learn from mistakes and to see failure as part of the learning process
  • Acknowledgement and acceptance of one’s strengths and weaknesses and an ability to play to those strengths
  • Remaining curious and open-minded at all times, alert to new possibilities or alternative ways of doing things (remember, there is no “right” way).
  • Feeding back to oneself through self-monitoring, recordings/videos, reflection, adjustment – and rinse and repeat
  • Setting realistic, achievable goals which encourage motivation and ongoing development
  • Regular study away from the instrument – listening (including going to concerts), reading
  • Try out performances in less stressful settings (at home to friends, for example), and self-critiquing and reflecting on one’s performance
  • Trusting one’s own musical knowledge and judgement rather than following received ideas about what the music should sound like/how it should be played
  • Guarding all the time against routine (which leads to boredom and counter-productivity) and a lack of mindfulness
  • An acknowledgement that there are no short-cuts or miracles, nor that there is a “right way” to play the music, and that the authority of one’s own interpretative decisions should be borne out in convincing performances
  • Seeking advice/critique from trusted colleagues, mentors and friends with whom one can have an honest and mutually respectful exchange of ideas. Such discussions may be regular or occasional, but they will have value, offering stimulating food for thought, and often allowing one to see the bigger picture of the music, rather than always focusing on the minutiae, as one surely does – and must – in daily practice sessions.

These points may appear rather exhaustive, but they are habits and skills which can be gradually incorporated into one’s regular practice regime, and developed and finessed to the point where they become intuitive. And then one continues to build on them, making small but significant positive gains which go to create a greater whole.

In achieving autonomy, I have felt liberated, enjoying greater physical and psychological freedom in my playing, less bodily tension and much more pleasure and personal fulfilment in the music which I choose to play. 

The point is not to take the world’s opinion as a guiding star but to go one’s way in life and working unerringly, neither depressed by failure nor seduced by applause – Gustav Mahler

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